Getting Unstuck
I have a live stream with the 52 Cues Community each Tuesday. This was on my mind recently. If you’d like to catch the live stream or watch the archive, join the free community!
This week, we observed World Mental Health Day. It's a day that prompts us to introspect; to check in, not just with ourselves, but with the wider community. How have you been feeling lately?
I've recently felt the weight of being “stuck.” If you’ve ever felt stuck, you’ll resonate with this. It’s a mixture of boredom, wistfulness, overwhelm, and angst. It’s uncomfortable, and it makes me crabby!
As always, there are tons of things that contribute to this feeling. In the forefront of my mind is my dad. We just marked the third anniversary of his passing. I was close to him, and in fact, he lived with us for his final years.
Because of this, I live in a haunted house. Now, it’s not that I think his spirit is hanging around—I’m quite sure he’s off exploring some grand vista or racing whatever Eternity’s version of NASCAR is! Rather, it’s that I see reminders of him everywhere. Memories of life with him seem to pervade every nook and corner of my home. This naturally brings about a wave of grief, and that got me started on this downward-feeling trend.
But another contributing factor is not a life-changing event like the loss of my dad, but in fact quite the opposite: I’ve been reluctant to deal with everyday work and responsibilities.
Have you ever felt resistance to the smallest tasks? Recently, a minor chore presented itself, and I was overwhelmed with reluctance. A trivial 30-second task suddenly felt like climbing a mountain. It wasn’t the task itself, but the emotion behind it, which was problematic. I realized this resistance highlighted a pattern: I’ve been avoiding many such tiny tasks, letting them accumulate into an overwhelming list. And that doesn’t feel good.
That one red Skittle…
Do you remember the Skittles commercials with the tagline, "Taste the rainbow?" Picture Skittles raining down on you (fun!) but your job is to catch just one red one. It's not necessarily a negative kind of overwhelm, but it's like you don't know where to start. The problem I faced wasn't that I had too much to handle, but rather that the sheer number of things to do caused me to shut down. So I unfurled my metaphorical umbrella, let the Skittles rain down all around me, and figured that somehow that red Skittle would work itself out.
What I wound up with was a giant pile of Skittles and the feeling that I was letting “everybody” down.
This was an unintended blow to my self-esteem. The more I ignored what was obviously a growing pile of craziness, the worse I felt about myself. And as you may have experienced, that kind of negative emotion can quickly snowball into bad vibes or even full-blown depression.
So, just this past weekend, while thinking of my dad, who had similar tendencies, I realized that I had to have some movement in this area. Since I’m quite analytical, finding out what’s broken in my system is always a good starting place. So I examined what knick in my armor was allowing this resistance in.
Over the years, I’ve explored various time management strategies. From the "Getting Things Done" approach, which still influences my daily routine, to Mark Twain’s famous advice to "eat the frog first" – tackle the most challenging task at the start of the day. I've also been inspired by the metaphor of fitting rocks, pebbles, and sand into a jar. If you start with the sand (small tasks) and pebbles (medium tasks), there's no space left for the rocks (big tasks). So you start with the big tasks and everything else will fit in.
Yet, despite knowing these strategies and employing them regularly, I sometimes found myself staring blankly, unable to prioritize or even focus.
I found myself contemplating writing a book called "10-Minute Tasks." I laughingly thought, “Well, the first chapter will be “Everything’s a Boulder!”. The premise is be simple: at the start of each workday, focus on tasks that take 10 minutes or less. By clearing out these small tasks, I hope to achieve a sense of clarity and reduce the mental clutter, much like the "mind like water" concept from the "Getting Things Done" methodology (the idea there is to get everything out of your head and into a reminder system so that you’re not clouded with open loops). So I’m going to try this out and keep you posted on my progress, and whether it helps me get unstuck.
If you’re feeling stuck, please know that you're not alone. The key is to recognize and acknowledge that you’re stuck. Then, take action. One of our community members, Ralph, aptly mentioned, "just pick one thing and do it." While it sounds simple, the challenge often lies in deciding what that 'one thing' is, especially when everything feels equally important. Any action will do! Whether it's reaching out to an old friend, taking a walk outdoors, or dancing around your room to your favorite tune, it's crucial to do something. Even picking one task and accomplishing it can make a world of difference.
There is power in taking that first step, no matter how small.
As always, I cherish our time together and look forward to our continued journey. Until next time, take care and stay connected.
